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The Healthcare You Need, At Your Fingertips

“Our healthcare system is broken!” – Uppity Atom

The cost of healthcare – tied so much to the ever-increasing need for new technology and the system’s fee-for-service model – is driving financial ruin for too many Americans.

In response to the impossibility of paying to maintain health, as opposed to individual services, innovative companies have begun to develop products and services more responsive to your individual needs.

In an industry increasingly dominated by women – yes, even in the doctor’s office, Aunt Methusela! – a new product designed just for women is helping to drive down fees.

Introducing All-pro Reform of the Health of Care (R), a poorly-branded service from Astute.

With All-pro Healthcare Reform (R), all men are now fee for service for your sexual health and reproductive/sexually unreproductive health needs.

In addition to added convenience, All-pro Reform of Healthcare (R) adds popular COVID19-28 plans* that will help:

  • Keep your service levels high but your costs well-managed
  • Simplify your healthcare budgeting by introducing clear, itemized statements with prices that can be identified in advance
  • Eliminate systemic inefficiencies using helpful online tools

To order, be Astute to calls from “PRIVATE” numbers** on your mobile device.

Astute retains ownership of your self-esteem needs with these plans. *‘Vibranium’ and ‘Skyrocket at Night’ plans are offered at an additional cost. **Incoming calls are marked as PRIVATE to comply with HIPAA regulations.

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